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Haley's Cozy System Armageddon (Haley and Nana 1)

Haley's Cozy System Armageddon (Haley and Nana 1)

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A Girl, a Grandma, and a Lot of Cookies

When the apocalypse hit, Haley was ready to embark on her life-long dream of becoming a wizard! But the system has other plans for her...

Enjoy a feel-good slice-of-life short... come away smiling!

This story is good for all ages and comes with a recipe so that when you get to the end of it, you can make the cookies and re-read it while eating the cookies the characters are eating. Because that's the kind of story it is.

Excerpt from Haley's Cozy System Armageddon

Haley waited out the last hour before the apocalypse in the kitchen, helping Nana make molasses cookies. The smell of ginger and butter grounded her in a routine as old as her earliest memories; how many times had her grandmother made cookies for her in this kitchen, with her big cat purring in that patch of sunlight on the floor?

What would it be like to make cookies tomorrow? Would it feel the same? She looked out the kitchen window at the empty street and wondered.

She wasn’t the only one. Her grandmother poured the molasses into the bowl, not bothering with measuring cups. “I wish those aliens would have said more about whether we’d have ovens after whatever it is that’s supposed to happen. It would be a nuisance to have to cook on a fire like a stranded camper.”

“I’m sure there will be some other way for ovens to work.” Haley dipped her finger in the molasses and licked it, then resumed chopping the crystallized ginger. “Don’t worry, Nana. Even after the end times, you’ll still be the best baker in the world.”

Her grandmother sniffed. “It’s not the real end times unless the angels blow the horns. And it’s definitely not angels coming.”

“No,” Haley said.

They’d rescued the first batch from the oven and were having them with milk when the countdown started.

“All ready?” she asked her grandmother.

Nana sighed. “Ready enough, I suppose. You?”

Haley was mostly wishing she’d gotten through more of college before the world ended. And wondering if she’d regret choosing to have milk instead of coffee with this last meal. Would there be coffee beans in the future? Would someone end up with a Coffee Farmer class? That sounded ridiculous to her. The aliens had said that classes would be bestowed based on the emergence of monsters and people’s ability to destroy them. Maybe she shouldn’t have quit martial arts in elementary school. “I’ve got you,” she said to her grandmother. “And That Thomascat. And Mom and Dad will be fine.”

“You wish they were here,” Nana said. “Well, I do too. They’ve got a good strong house, though, and those dogs to keep them safe. And they’re both mean shots.”

“And if they miss, Mom can brain them with her telescope.” That was an old maternal threat, so often repeated that Nana recognized it, so when the apocalypse arrived, they were laughing.

[ Creatures of Sol 3. Congratulations on evolving without supervision. You have been identified as a potential proto-species suitable for life in intergalactic society. You will now be tested. Prepare yourselves.]

It was both a sound and a floating dialogue box, just like the aliens had said it would be—the ones who’d looked strangely like dark elves out of games. They’d been escaping, ‘in hopes of finding somewhere they could be left alone,’ and had stopped only to warn humanity. Five days ago.

[ In 5… 4… 3… 2… 1. ]

[ You have entered the Trials. Acquit yourselves with dignity and strength, and earn your passage into civilization! Pro-social behaviors will be rewarded on par with defensive ones. Go forth, creatures of Sol 3, and prove your worth! ]

Nana huffed. “Prove our worth! As if we had to.”

Haley went to the kitchen window, peering out at the street. Nothing looked different. She tried the back door, since that would give her the best view of the foresty bits of the backlot. No monsters. No interesting pop-ups, informing her that she was a level 1 human, and to choose her class; no obvious magic. She wrinkled her nose. So far so good?

“The oven doesn’t work!” Nana called from the kitchen.

Uh-oh. “What about the refrigerator?”

“Neither,” Nana said. “Guess I’d better build that fire and start cooking off all the meat.” When Haley hesitated, she made a shooing motion. “Go on, girl child, and see if your plan will work.”

Her plan—to seize one of the first classes on Earth—because she was going to be a wizard.

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Formats

  • Ebook - In your choice of e-format (epub, mobi, etc). You'll receive an email from Bookfunnel, the ebook distributor, with download instructions.
  • Audio - If this book has an audio format, it will be listed. Not all books have audio, however, and some series have incomplete audio editions. You'll receive an email from Bookfunnel, the audio distributor, with download instructions.
  • Paperback - A print-on-demand paperback, this ships from the printer directly.
  • Doodled Paperback - This paperback will be signed by the author, and have a doodle drawn on its half-title page! This personalized option will ship from the author and may take 1-2 months to reach you.

Customer Reviews

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L
L. Rowyn
Charming and delightful

I read an ARC of this work available to the author's patrons, and absolutely loved it. It's more slice-of-life than anything else, with a lot of heart and featuring some novel system mechanics. Highly recommended!